We’ve all experienced firsthand that communication is truly the foundation for any healthy relationship.

When we communicate to understand one another, we relay nonverbally and respectfully that we care for the other person, no matter who it is.

Meaningful , healthy relationships are among the leading drivers that support whole-person wellbeing. Fulfilling relationships can reduce stress, boost mental and physical wellbeing, and may even increase longevity. Quality relationships are really the fruit of life — making our many memories all the sweeter.

One way to strengthen these important relationships is the way in which we choose to navigate through disagreements together.

Rather than focusing on which expressions to avoid, experts point us in the right direction with a collection of caring phrases we can (and should) use to keep our healthy relationships thriving.

  1. “You start.” This signals we want to understand where the other person is coming from. It allows each of us to feel heard.
  2. “Can we slow down?” This phrase acknowledges the important role we both play in the relationship. It’s wildly different than saying, “Calm down,” which typically has poor results.
  3. “I see the impact I had on you.” To recover from a conflict, it’s helpful to recognize the effect it had on the other person, whether it was well-intentioned, intentional or otherwise.
  4. “Would that be OK?” A great way to transition into a tough conversation is to simply ask first, “I want to talk to you about XYZ; would that be OK?” It’s a powerful way to convey kindness and consideration.
  5. “What do you feel that I’m not getting about your experience?” Even if we’ve known someone for decades, we are not mind-readers. To boost understanding and validation, we can use a phrase like this, or similarly, “I want to know more where you’re coming from.”
  6. “Let me try that again.” This is what many psychology professors call a good ‘repair attempt,’ or a statement that prevents conflict or negativity from escalating. It’s especially helpful to use when something comes out harsher than we intended.
  7. “What does the relationship need from us right now?” This is a high-ground shift in perspective. Whatever the relationship, we’re in it together. We both care. This phrase helps affirm that notion while pushing the conversation in a positive direction.
  8. “Thank you.” We can thank someone for anything. It sends a big message of appreciation that helps yield positive results!

Source:

“Eight Phrases to Help Your Relationship Thrive ,” Catherine Pearson, nytimes.com, Sept. 12, 2025.