How To Regulate Emotions in Real Time

Emotions are information from our bodies. When emotions are suppressed, they don’t disappear. They can intensify and manifest in different ways, such as increased stress, emotional numbness, strained relationships and even physical health challenges.

We can learn to manage emotions and the feelings that come in response. This practice of emotion regulation supports overall wellbeing. It protects our mental and physical health, strengthens relationships and improves our ability to navigate challenges with resiliency by building emotional awareness. It’s all about being present, paying attention and addressing emotions in real time so they don’t compound. Furthermore, it’s a muscle we can strengthen over time.

When an event or someone’s actions or words catch us off guard and we notice an emotional response, we can:

Breathe. Talk to your body. Address the physical cues of emotions first. Quiet the nervous system response, so you can think clearly and logically and acknowledge the emotion in real time. A couple body-based strategies for responding to the physiological responses of emotions include:

Physiological Sighs: Take two deep, quick inhales through your nose, followed by one long, slow exhale through your mouth. Do this three to five times to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system or the body’s overall “rest and digest” mode. The parasympathetic nervous system conserves energy, slows the heart rate, and stimulates digestion and relaxation after a period of stress.

Dive Reflex: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice pack to your cheeks and eyes for 30 seconds while holding your breath. The cold triggers the mammalian dive reflex, which slows heart rate. It’s a fast physiological reset without medication. Talk to your healthcare provider first if you have a cardiovascular condition.

Find comfort. Do something to find comfort for yourself that supports overall wellbeing (i.e., is healthy). Place your hand over your heart (the warmth and pressure activate your body’s soothing system); wrap yourself in a blanket; sit in the warm sunshine; or close your eyes and imagine somewhere relaxing or peaceful. Encourage a sense of safety, security, peace and calm to help further quiet the response and settle.

Label the emotion(s) you are experiencing. Get as specific as you can. There are more than 20 of them! When we name what we’re experiencing, it dials down the brain’s alarm system and activates the regions we need for a thoughtful response. It also elevates our self-awareness and restores a mild sense of control.

This is an important first step in processing emotions and gleaning helpful information from them. It also helps us build self-trust, which ultimately leads to the best choices for ourselves and those we love, which supports optimal wellbeing.

Dive deeper. Explore the reasons why you might be feeling this way. Your emotions may be signaling that it’s time for a shift, pivot or change, especially if the response is recurring.

Communicate. When we view the bigger picture of why we had an emotion response, it can help us be more self-aware and then communicate with those around us and those we care most about by:

Actively creating healthy boundaries

Asking for help

Describing feelings

When we show up with the presence to regulate emotions, we stop running from them and start working with them. Our relationships deepen, anxiety recedes and self-trust evolves. We give ourselves permission to feel and function. It can change how we live our lives.

Sources:

“Emotional Regulation Is A Skill, Not A Personality Trait,” innerwell.com, July 30, 2025.

“15 Emotional Regulation Exercises for Adults That Actually Work,” innerwell.com, March 24, 2026.

“Emotion Regulation Is the Lynchpin for Mental Health,” medicine.yale.edu, Sept. 4, 2025.

“How to Express Emotions: 12 Ways to Communicate Feelings,” Susan McGarvie, positivepsychology.com, Jan. 16, 2025.